(Note: Sung to "Turkey in the Straw")

Oh, the cow kicked Nelly in the belly in the barn,
The cow kicked Nelly in the belly in the barn,
The cow kicked Nelly in the belly in the barn,
But the old man said it wouldn't do her any harm.

Second verse, same as the first,
a little bit louder and a little bit worse.

(Song carries on getting faster and louder on each iteration til everyone gets bored... or can't keep up... or you get shouted a drink)